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Positive Affirmation

March 18, 2010

So, I forgot I had a blog.  Not that anyone noticed, since I really only have one reader anyway.  Sorry for the, umm, three month lapse in posting.

Positive words are immeasurably important to me.  I often forget how important it is to be encouraged, supported, and loved by your peers.  Instead of reflecting this knowledge onto myself — instead of remembering how important positive words are and keeping my heart and mind focused on the positive aspects of my own life — I often am hyper-critical of myself and let myself get discouraged unnecessarily.

During college, I had a built-in support group (a.k.a. Zeta Beta GO KD!!) which kept me positive.  Walking into the cafeteria, class, meeting, etc., there was always someone to remind me that I was pretty, or smart, or funny, or sarcastic, or some other derivative of awesome.  It was amazing to have so many beautiful women who were in touch with one another and their respective need for affirmation.

Law school, my new home, does not naturally provide positive reinforcement.  Instead, first year tears down your pre-established learning pattern and opens the door for a new way of thinking:  “Like a Lawyer.” To do this, you learn that the way you think is wrong.  That you are wrong.  That your old study habits are not good enough.

For too many, this develops into feeling that you are not good enough.  That you have to try harder, and do more, and that no amount of work or sweat, blood or tears, studying or caffeine, will be sufficient.

I am not going to be that person.  But still, every few days, I have to sit myself down and have a heart to heart with my self-esteem.  It goes something like this:

M…B…J… You are awesome.  What?  No.  You are.  You are [insert list of things I do every day…].  You are getting married to a wonderful man, working to develop a successful and effective career that will help people who need help every day.  It’s okay if you only do laundry once a month, and only if your fiance makes you do it.  It’s okay if you need to be a hermit on some Saturday nights because you are simply exhausted.  This is okay because you are living the life you are called to live.  One of purpose, and hard work, and compassion. So pull it together, and please get out of bed, because class is starting at 10 AM whether you are there or not.

I have a friend who spends our conversations lifting me up.  Another friend who does it on a car ride to work once a week.  And I have a professor who has really helped me see my strengths and capacity to do great legal work.  I am so lucky, and blessed.

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2 Comments
  1. I’m your one reader and I didn’t even comment when you finally posted. Some reader I am!

    Wow, law school sounds horrible. I would never make it through. I’m not as tough skinned as you are my dear friend. And for that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for what you are doing and what you will be doing. Your career will be amazing and you will help so many people. I’m so proud to know you and have you as a friend. You really are pretty, smart, funny, sarcastic :), and all kinds of awesome

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